“As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world — that is the myth of the atomic age — as in being able to remake ourselves.” — Mahatma Gandhi
Monday, 7:31 a.m.
Why is it so difficult to change? What are we so scared of? It’s the only constant in our lives, yet most of us do everything we can not to change and then wonder why we keep getting the same crappy results again and again. We hope our situation will change or the government will change or the economy will change. Well they will change, but you’ll be the same. So unless you prepare to take advantage of that change, you’ll keep on doing what you’re doing.
It takes flexibility, strength, responsiveness and resiliency in all areas of your life — body, mind and emotions — to succeed in our ever-changing world. When your butting heads with your teen for the umpteenth time and wondering, “When is this ever gonna change. When is he (or she) going to see that’s it my way or my way?”, remember what Jim Rohn said…
“For things to change you must change”
YOU CAN ONLY CONTROL YOUR OWN BEHAVIOR!
When you change your behavior, the people in your life — spouse, children, relatives, friends, co-workers — must then adapt to you. You create an opportunity for a different result. In other words, by changing yourself you change the dynamic between you and your teen, spouse or co-workers. It is this shift that breaks the routine and creates the opportunity for change.
One big problem though, is most of us, even if we’re willing, don’t know how to change. We’ve been doing what we’ve been doing for so long that we don’t have a clue as to how to do anything differently.
Everyday a dad comes home and grumbles about his boss. What do you think his son says about his teachers?
Over the past twelve weeks I’ve offered some ideas on how to change. My guess is that most of you have done nothing. There is nothing wrong with that, in fact it’s pretty normal. Less than 10% of the people who buy a “self-help” book ever read past chapter one.
But LOOK… You can’t just keep filling your head up with information and hope and pray that your life will change or your kids will change. There is no magic wand or solution that will all of a sudden make everything right with the world. Change takes effort and it takes time and it’s been known to be extremely painful. That is why so few of us manage to change our lives. Sure, we may change little things, maybe even some big things, but how many among us can really say, “I’m a completely different person from who I was 3 years ago?” Not many I imagine.
Now I’m not saying that you have to change. Anyone can live anyway they want, and that’s OK. But if you want to change your life, I am here to tell you that can. If you want more love in your life, then you must first learn to give love. If you want more respect, you must first learn to give respect. If you want your teen to listen to you, you must first learn to give your ear to your teen. You get nothing, without giving. Everything you give, you get back… multiplied.
If giving is all it takes, then what stops most of us from creating change in our lives? What’s keeping us from remaking ourselves?
TO GIVE is a verb. It is an action word. To give love is to take action. To give respect is to take action. To lend an ear is to take action. Taking action is paramount to success. All the knowledge in the world wont change a dollar bill into four quarters.
And this is where most of us get stuck — we FAIL TO ACT.
Even when we do act sometimes things just don’t work out, but that’s the risk we take. However, if we sit back and do nothing we risk even more. We risk the opportunity to create greater connection with our children. We risk wishing we could do it all over again. And, we pretty much guarantee that things won’t change for us.
So say to yourself, “I will act now.”
When you balk at heading to the gym or going for a walk or run, say to yourself, “I will act now.” If you find yourself saying, “I can’t,” or “I’ll never,” say to yourself, “I will act now.” As you begin to see red, because your teen is exploiting your emotional weaknesses, say to yourself, “I will act now.”
Don’t go another day without committing to remaking yourself into a flexible, strong, responsive and resilient person. Say to yourself, “I will act now! I will act now! I will act now!”
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